12/21

This number for sure means something to me..

So frigging cute!!! 

Animals truly are gentle souls. 

divinity

We Are Loved

We identify with our divine nature as we feel and give the love of our Father in Heaven. We have the agency to nurture it, let it flourish, and help it grow. Peter said we are given “precious promises” that we “might be partakers of the divine nature.”⁵ As we understand who we are—daughters of God—we begin to feel those precious promises.Looking out through a window, not just into a mirror, allows us to see ourselves as His

We are His. Paul said, “The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God.”⁷ Often the first Primary song we learn is “I Am a Child of God.”⁸Now it is time to take that beloved phrase “I am a child of God” and add the words “Therefore, what?” We might even ask questions such as these: “What will I do to live my life as a child of God?” “How can I develop the divine nature that is within me?”

President Dieter F. Uchtdorf said, “God sent you here to prepare for a future greater than anything you can imagine.”⁹ That future, a day at a time, comes alive when you do more than just exist; it comes alive when you live your life to fill the measure of your creation. This invites the Lord into your life, and you begin to let His will become yours.

I got this

So I have in the past at times allowed people that I didn't know at all measure my worthiness. I have had and have really good friends. There has always been mutual respect of ones that I call friends or ever called friends.

For some reason though. People that I have never met or even care to I have allowed to bring me down. I am not sure why I have allowed myself to be drawn into that.

It's okay though because I am freeing myself and giving my self permission and knowing that I deserve love!

I am proud of the person I am.

The sailor.

A poem I wrote today about us all being sailors
The sailor grabbed his bag. Heavy from the past. He brought it TO the ship .to bring upon the raft. 
Than he set sail. 
To the raging sea. The raging sea. He laughed at it's might. With fear in his salty eyes. The truth sunk in deep . Nothing's what it seems. A perfect dream cant not be found escaping reality. The island of home. not beyond the storm.  Stillness within. Leads us  sailors in. To the treasured hope.that keeps us all afloat.  Like the sunsets in. reflecting  deep within. Bold our we. Choosen to be. Creators of the new. old souls amongst the endless blue

Duped

I am highly embarrassed that I allowed myself to be duped with someone I don't know. I am sad that it took me this long to wake up to who that person is or appears to be.

I hope that I won't allow myself to be duped again. I look the best in people and than that is my downfall.

I am looking forward to better communication skills

I feel I communicate pretty well most of the time. I also feel I am a very good listener. It doesn't hur to get better though. I am going to read the book how to win freinds and influence people.

Dolce& Gabanna purse at thrift shop

Okay I was really excited. I found me a dolce & Gabanna vintage purse at a thrift shop.

I checked to see if it was real. Its real. 

It looks like it was from the90s. I am not sure exaclty. 

ANyway I am on for a project. I want to make it look real expesnive. It's goign to be a project. I want it to literally look modern and something that would be on the runway! 

Watch me make already masterpiece into more of a master piece. I got this!!! It would be a lot of fun. 

aspies

35 years later I have gotten alot better at my social interactions. Sometimes I may fall into socially awkward conversations.

What makes it awkward is that I speak exactly what is on my mind and aspect to understand. I can be deep in thought about a philosophy of life and just randomly speak it.

Its not your everyday conversation and I can tell they don't know how to respond. Than I feel embarrassed because I realize I don't have the same rythymn of conversations. I usually don't say alot because I know if I start talking too much someone would recognize it. So I KEEP it really short. The only people I feel free to talk to is my close friends. Anyway. Aspies is a gift in some ways. Its tiresome for me others.

I have to forgive my self for not being a social graceful butterfly.

My thoughts

 I am allowing the spirit to guide me. I feel the key is seeing the lesson in every moment. There is something to learn and there is a choice I can make in all moments to better my future. 

For example I missed the bus today. Instead of allowing stress to take over. I took the opportunity to read the seven habits of Highly effective people as I was waiting. I decided to make a choice to use this time effectively and read. If I would have got angry or stressed out. It truly could have effected my day in that way. Patience truly is a virtue. If I am patient with others and myself it allows room for the process of true change. Patience is a principle that helps people truly succeed. I am not a victim of anybody or circumstance. 

Every decision counts. Everything matters on how I react. I could have seriously been stressed and took it on the operator of the bus system when I called. I was calm as a cucumber and tried to send her positive energy with my voice. That was an opportunity for myself to bring me good Kharma. If I would have allowed myself to be frustrated I could have very well taken it out on the operator when I was calling about when the next would arrive. It was a 30 min wait. I was peaceful. I feel it's not worth it to sacrifice peace any longer. 

Patience and peace are fruits of the spirit. It's a gift@ I feel the lord is blessing me to be able to stay that way. 

I do feel peace is more important than happiness. Happiness is not all the time good! People can be happily delusional when it's truly not serving their path. People can hype themselves up to be happy. I am feeling positive is only good when it's right for your spiritual growth. Someone can still be positively delusional. Peace is the one thing in this world that can't be mimicked because it comes from within. I guess people can throw out peace signs. .. 

Health food update.

So I went to a health food store and got me some sprouts, kombucha, kale chips, and goat cheese. I want to be able to fully raw October the first. I am eating some goat cheese for a couple of days. I feel I have kind of transitioning this month. What I want to incorporate in my diet everyday is sprouts and something fermentated. I hope to learn to make Coconut almond yogurt from Lou Coronas recipe. I feel the way I have been eating is good because it has helped me not go on a belemia binge. It's tidying me over and its still a huge change, but to the extreme. Extreme change would have triggered my belemia habits. I feel I am craving more of the healthy food anyway. I am just taking it day by day. I feel when I get signed up for those herbalist course. I will be even more inspired to stay on track. It's just worth it anymore to damage to my body.
Last night I was really scared. I could feel the inside of my body being weak. I feel I an heal from it. It's just scary. Yesterday I had a heart murmer. I was feeling dizzy and I know my heart is kind of weak at the moment. I just got to take it easy. I know I can for sure heal. God has thing that can truly heal it. I can NOOOT afford to have soda. I can't afford to throw up anymore. I just feel like giving myself the hugest hug. I can't believe I was so unkind to this beautful vessel I hasve that god gave me.

God gave me this body! I want to value this body as much I value others.
The greatest gift I can give to others is first be kind to myself. I can't comprimise myself anymore. I am so beautiful and I have a good heart! I don't want to do damage to it! ...

I want to live on this Earth as long as I meant to. I can't short live my life! There is so much I want to do here! I can't waste any more days! I still have time. I am 35 years old. I have a long life to live! I hope and pray god can lead me until fully healing my body.

The truth begins to sprout

26 Now, as I said concerning faith—that it was not a perfect knowledge—even so it is with my words. Ye cannot know of their surety at first, unto perfection, any more than faith is a perfect knowledge.

 27 But behold, if ye will awake and arouse your faculties, even to an experiment upon my words, and exercise a particle of faith, yea, even if ye can no more than desire to believe, let this desire work in you, even until ye believe in a manner that ye can give place for a portion of my words.

 28 Now, we will compare the word unto a seed. Now, if ye give place, that a seed may be planted in your heart, behold, if it be a true seed, or a good seed, if ye do not cast it out by your unbelief, that ye will resist the Spirit of the Lord, behold, it will begin to swell within your breasts; and when you feel these swelling motions, ye will begin to say within yourselves—It must needs be that this is a good seed, or that the word is good, for it beginneth to enlarge my soul; yea, it beginneth to enlighten my understanding, yea, it beginneth to be delicious to me.

 29 Now behold, would not this increase your faith? I say unto you, Yea; nevertheless it hath not grown up to a perfect knowledge.

 30 But behold, as the seed swelleth, and sprouteth, and beginneth to grow, then you must needs say that the seed is good; for behold it swelleth, and sprouteth, and beginneth to grow. And now, behold, will not this strengthen your faith? Yea, it will strengthen your faith: for ye will say I know that this is a good seed; for behold it sprouteth and beginneth to grow.

 31 And now, behold, are ye sure that this is a good seed? I say unto you, Yea; for every seed bringeth forth unto its own likeness.

 32 Therefore, if a seed groweth it is good, but if it groweth not, behold it is not good, therefore it is cast away.

 33 And now, behold, because ye have tried the experiment, and planted the seed, and it swelleth and sprouteth, and beginneth to grow, ye must needs know that the seed is good.

 34 And now, behold, is your knowledge perfect? Yea, your knowledge is perfect in that thing, and your faith is dormant; and this because you know, for ye know that the word hath swelled your souls, and ye also know that it hath sprouted up, that your understanding doth begin to be enlightened, and your mind doth begin to expand.

 35 O then, is not this real? I say unto you, Yea, because it is light; and whatsoever is light, is good, because it is discernible, therefore ye must know that it is good; and now behold, after ye have tasted this light is your knowledge perfect?

 36 Behold I say unto you, Nay; neither must ye lay aside your faith, for ye have only exercised your faith to plant the seed that ye might try the experiment to know if the seed was good.

 37 And behold, as the tree beginneth to grow, ye will say: Let us nourish it with great care, that it may get root, that it may grow up, and bring forth fruit unto us. And now behold, if ye nourish it with much care it will get root, and grow up, and bring forth fruit.

 38 But if ye neglect the tree, and take no thought for its nourishment, behold it will not get any root; and when the heat of the sun cometh and scorcheth it, because it hath no root it withers away, and ye pluck it up and cast it out.

 39 Now, this is not because the seed was not good, neither is it because the fruit thereof would not be desirable; but it is because your ground is barren, and ye will not nourish the tree, therefore ye cannot have the fruit thereof.

 40 And thus, if ye will not nourish the word, looking forward with an eye of faith to the fruit thereof, ye can never pluck of the fruit of the tree of life.

 41 But if ye will nourish the word, yea, nourish the tree as it beginneth to grow, by your faith with great diligence, and with patience, looking forward to the fruit thereof, it shall take root; and behold it shall be a tree springing upunto everlasting life.

 42 And because of your diligence and your faith and your patience with the word in nourishing it, that it may take root in you, behold, by and by ye shall pluck the fruitthereof, which is most precious, which is sweet above all that is sweet, and which is white above all that is white, yea, and pure above all that is pure; and ye shall feast upon this fruit even until ye are filled, that ye hunger not, neither shall ye thirst.

 43 Then, my brethren, ye shall reap the rewards of your faith, and your diligence, and patience, and long-suffering, waiting for the tree to bring forth fruit unto you.

ravens and yellow birch

1. RAVENS ARE ONE OF THE SMARTEST ANIMALS.

When it comes to intelligence, these birds rate up there with chimpanzees and dolphins. In one logic test, the raven had to get a hanging piece of food by pulling up a bit of the string, anchoring it with its claw, and repeating until the food was in reach. Many ravens got the food on the first try, some within 30 seconds. In the wild, ravens have pushed rocks on people to keep them from climbing to their nests, stolen fish by pulling a fishermen’s line out of ice holes, and played dead beside a beaver carcass to scare other ravens away from a delicious feast.

If a raven knows another raven is watching it hide its food, it will pretend to put the food in one place while really hiding it in another. Since the other ravens are smart too, this only works sometimes.

2. RAVENS CAN IMITATE HUMAN SPEECH.

Image: Maine Tree Club

Scientific name: The scientific  name of the Yellow Birch is betula alleghaniensis michaux.
Height: The Yellow Birch grows to about 60-75 feet or 100 feet tall. It is one of the largest birches in Maine.
Soil: The Yellow Birch likes rich, moist, and cool soils. It will take clay soils too. Also it likes well drained soils.
Bark: The bark is a silvery gray or a yellowish brown. When the bark gets older it turns a black or a dull gray.
Leaves: The leaves are hairy. The upper side of the leaf is dark green. The under side is a yellowish green. The leaves of the Yellow Birch are 3-4 1/2 long. In the fall the leaves turn a bright color.
Flower: The male and female catkins are borne apart on the same branch.
Fruit: The fruit is very short, about 1-1 1/2 long.
Seeds: The seeds are light brown and hairy. They mature in July and stay there for a few months.
Wood: Wood is used for furniture, cabinetry, flooring and doors. And the wood is made into toys.
Interesting Facts: The Yellow Birche's sap could be harvested in the early spring before the leaves unfold by just touching the trunk. It has a sweet flavor. Also the Yellow Birch is found growing on the north facing slopes. The Yellow Birch is one of the most common and the most important tree for lumber. This hardwood holds paints and stains well. The bark can be used to make "oil of wintergreen" which is used to flavor medicine. Those are some facts about the Yellow Birch.

healing from Belemia

So I am drinking a tablespoon of slippery elm to heal me from the damage I cause with doing belemia. I have been good this week by not falling into it.

I need to get me some Caprey Whey, Aloe Vera, and slippery elm together. Also raw living food.

I don't even want to think about the scary aspects of it. I just want to move forward and not look back. I have a lot of healing to do...

I have a huge life ahead of me. So I feel I will be okay.; I felt really good about signing up for the herbalist master program.

I was really stoaked. There is still so much I WANT to do with my life. I feel the lord set me here on Earth to succeed. I just know if I put my full trust in him everything will fall into place.

So important to rememeber

I felt the spirit so strong when I called to take the herbology class. It would bring absolute joy!!! I looooooove people soo much!!!

This is my path!!!

Note remember this!!

Humming bird and Echinacea

• Hummingbirds are the tiniest birds in the world.



• Hummingbirds can flash their bright colors, as well as hide them when needed.



• The bright radiant color on hummingbirds comes from iridescent coloring like on a soap bubble or prism.



• A Gorget is the bright flashing colored feathers of the hummingbird's neck.



• A hummingbird's brain is 4.2% of its body weight, the largest proportion in the bird kingdom.



• Hummingbirds are very smart and they can remember every flower they have been to, and how long it will take a flower to refill.



• Hummingbirds can hear better than humans



• Hummingbirds can see farther than humans.



• Hummingbirds can see ultraviolet light.



• Hummingbirds have little to no sense of smell.

• Gingivitis. Early research suggests that applying a patch in the mouth or using a mouth rinse containing Centella asiatica, Echinacea purpurea, and Sambucus nigra for 14 days improves gingivitis in people with long-term gum disease.
• Migraine headaches.
• Allergies.
• Bee stings.
• Attention deficit-hyperactivity disorder (ADHD).

I had a beautiful day today. The season is fall . I feel fall is a beautiful time to be able to look at the memories of life and see where I am and turn it for my good. I feel I have good memories in fall. I love dressing up for it. 

7 habits of highly effective people.

1.  body 
Cultural tendency: maintain lifestyle; treat health problems with surgery and medication
Principle: Prevent diseases and problems by aligning lifestyle to be in harmony with established, universally accepted principles.

2.Mind culture: watch television, "entertain me."
Principle: read broadly and deeply, continuous education

3. Heart: Culture: use relationships with others to forward your personal, selfish interests
Principle: deep, respectful listening and serving others brings greatest fulfillment and joy.

4. Spirit:Culture: succumb to growing secularism and cynicism
Principle: recognize that the source of our basic need for meaning and of the positive things we seek in life is principles-which natural laws I personally believe have their source in god.


I don't need to protect anyone people are fundamentally okay. The only person I need to work on is my self which in return encourages others to do the same.

279 is my security in change that will occur. 

I can feel a ripple of effect of amazing things that will be flowing into my life. I accept the life of abundance. 

Making sure to have the right map in life is so important. There can be a wrong map of life and being positive could just be accepting that reality even if it's not serving. 

The key to life is having the right map which is a paradigm 

Principles are like lighthouses. They are natural laws that cannot be broken.It is impossible for us to break the law. We can only break ourselves against the law. 

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Principles are terroritories and values are maps. 

The more closely our maps or paradigms are aligned with these principles or natural laws, the more accurate and functional they will be. Correct maps will infinitely impact our personal and interpersonal effectiveness far more than any amount of effort expended on changing our attitudes and behaviors. 

There are times to teach and not to teach. 

"The significance problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them" 

Keeping promises to ourselves precedes making and keeping promises to others> 

inside-out is a dramatic paradigm shift for most people, largely because of the powerful impact of conditioning and the current social paradigm of the Personality Ethic. 

WE are what we repeatedely do

. Excellence, then is not an act, but a habit. aristole. 

Part 2 "habits" Defined

Four our purposes, we will define a habit as the intersection of knowledge, skill, and desire. 

Knowledge is the theoretical paradigm, The what to do and they why. Skill is the how to do. And desire is the motivation, the want to do. In Order to make something a habit in our lives, we have to have all three. 

Okay I want to make it a habit of doing raw food. 

First The knowledge of Dan the Man the life regenerator . Listen to everyday in the morning before going to work. 

I want to do raw food so I can be very clear minded in how I communicate with people. 

Happiness can be defined, in part at least, as the fruit of the desire and ability to sacrifice what we want now for what we want eventually. 

On my path

First let me go through the one my abundance in my ordinary path check list. Everyday ordinary and simple decision makes the path for great things. They mean seem small but they are the little things that will create joy. Those little everyday decisions will allow the doors to open. I can make a choice everyday to be happy. I feel peace within my soul.

1. Woke up and got my green drink. That green power I drank will nourish my mind and clean up my body so I can be awake and just even more consciously aware of making choices that will bring me in the flow abundance. Heath is more important than wealth. It helps the mind work at it's optimal level.

2. Walked a mile to the health food store. This was to help me get ideas and have mental images and encouragement to take care of my health. I did get me some healthy snacks in my transition period. I went to be bulk section and got me a very small bag of organic chocolate almonds..This was to remind myself I am not depraving myself so I won't binge later on something sweet. I just got a very small amount to make me feel I am not missing out in the world. I got me a very small bag of some snack of wild crackers. I felt I needed just a tad be today so I don't get chips instead. I feel now I won't fall into temptation and tommorow I will not need that. I had my Kombucha which helps me not want to reach for the soda. It has the frizz effect I need for my transition out. I hope to never drink soda ever again in my life.

3. I got me some Oxylent multivitamin powder to have as a healthy tasty drink later on. I am low on oxygen. I could feel this stuff going straight to my cells.

So after I left the healthfood store I than  went to an antic shop where I saw a maxfield parrish painting on a hearlds magazine cover from 1912 in a wooden frame! I am putting it on layway. It's about 52 dollars but it's worth it. I will keep it for the rest of my life! Maxfield Parrish?? LOOVE!!! I do realize it's important to have things around me that I absolutely love. Get rid of the things that are just blah. I feel valuable but miminal is the key to happiness. Having a lot of things is not good. Having the things that mean the most around me is what will help me clear my mind even more. 

After I left the antique shop.. I briefly went to the western store and sparked up a small conversation how 80s country is the best! 

I am practing sparking up small conversations with people everywhere I go and learning to connect but in a very simple way.

I am Now I am work! For Lunch I had falfalas and forbidden rice mix that I ate for lunch! I will be clocking into my job and deciding to be good spirits.

So my routine before was just going to work. I want to make sure now everyday I feel I have had a full adventurous day. I want to feel I have a life. I than can be in really good spirits at my desk job and do the best to connect with the people that call. I can send them positive energy which will be an opportunity for me to have good Kharma.

I hope and trust that God will bless with me to communicate better through writing. I have dyslexica and its so hard putting my thoughts together. I have a unique way of expressing myself. Pratice makes perfect. So I will just work on it. 

I want to be graceful as a maxfield parrish painting. Okay here is the thing. Women think wearing pants is a way for them to take there power back. I believe nice flowly dresses has power. It is acceptance of being feminmum and it allows life to be more fluid. That is just a theory I have. Maybe it's just for me though. I want to start wearing dress more. I also want to take an etiquette class to be more comfortable in my feminum energy!

Faith

Faith is not faith until it has been tried.
I am not sure where my life will lead. I just want to leave it in the lords hands and trust that he will make it beautiful and it will be exactly what I needed.

I don't walk around happy everyday. I walk with peace.

How i carried anne of green gables with me today

Let me give you a recap of what I read last night. I was reading anne of green gables. The thing I love about Anne is she always likes to have scope for the imagination. In chapter 2 when she was waiting at the bus station to be picked up Matthew Culpert. As she was waiting she was imaging herself sleeping in a cherry tree underneath the moon if she happened to get left there by herself. I felt like I carried that kind of mindset with me today because I was waiting for the bus and I decided I wanted to be really happy in that moment. So I put on Elvis Presley music and started dancing at the bus stop. I did notice
that of course people were looking at me. Some were probably laughing at me. I just felt sooooo happy in that moment I felt like crying. I have permission to be happy no matter where I am at.; I can feel so much joy! It inspired me listening to elvis that I want to take swing dancing. I have always had the desire to do that.

So this morning I drank my sunwarrior green mixed blended with strawberries. I decided to be healthy!

I need to use up my whole bag before I start buying greens. This is the brand for those of you who are interested
So that is what I woke up with. Than I caught the bus to explore before I got to work at 1 pm. I went to michaels and am wanting to work on an art project. Something interesting happened there.I feel I really need to make sure I am being creative everyday.


I got to work at 12:30 and had me some some Falafas, avocado, tomatoes, cucumbers, garbonzo beans and some Jalepeno lime dressing. Of course some wonderful guba goddess Kombucha.

I feel god is helping me learn to be happy in each moment. It's so important to lift my energy always and be careful with my thoughts. I want to make sure I am not feeling like a victim of life. I am looking for the opportunity in each situation.

Okay here is a pure example. i have had a huge insecurity in my life with feeling like I couldn't express myself the way I wanted. I was at michaels today and I was trying to express to one of the employees of needed a certain type of glue. I was fumbling over my words and I was overcomplicating a simple request. Either way she looked at me kind of funny. I could have in the past looked as that as a validation of my insecurity. Instead I decided at that moment I was going to be not be offended but instead be incouraged to read more, take care of my diet, and work on communicating with people better. ... .. I also didn't judge myself or her.

I feel that is the key not to judge a person or yourself.

I will get better at writing. I feel god will help be able to express myself .

So I am work today where I will spend 8 hours . I want to choose this time wisely and read

God keeps bringing to things that can improve on how I look at things. I definetly think it's possible to feel joy everyday. My life is pretty good. I have a house I live in where it's not costing me an arm in a leg. I have the a full yard to plant if I wanted to. Everything I need is walking distance. I have a job where I can work 40 hours. It's also a chill job to where I can catch up and improve on my learning. i could sign up for classes and have time to study. I have friends and I have people that love me.

I am also very grateful for my family and all the experiences that I needed to be where god wants me to be. This blog will also help me want to make it full. In order for me to make it full. I need to keep enriching my life to where it's full of abundance. The seed of abundance is gratitude.

gratitude

I went to church yesterday for 3 hours and I really enjoyed my time there. It filled up my day. Its better than getting depressed on Sundays. Sundays in the past started becoming my most depressing day. Everything is usually closed, Im not working and most people  not available during that time either.

However I am making it really good! I feel that's the most important day to be in good spirits. I am starting to be very cautious of my thoughts and make sure to to feel grateful and realize that it's a miracle.

 First I woke up at 9 and took the bus to the Mall. I got lost in barnes in noble . I took a picture of these books and just kept staring at them and imagining a whimsical looking library with books that look like this

and ended up picking up the movie Young Guns which I am going to watch tonight. I have never seen that movie. It is about bill the kid.
I am trying to get back to my country roots~ I am not sure if Emilia Estavez is good for the part though. Hum. We shall see! I will come back tommorow to give my review. :-)


 So I am excited. I later got me a vegan falafal salad with some Gingerberry Kombucha. This is exactly how the salad looks


I can feel proud of myself that i stayed on my diet and I did not do the belemia. I was starting to feel it all in my body. I want to heal from it and I have confidence that I can. I am just trying to grasp that is truly that serious! I know i can't have soda anymore and I got to akalyze my body!

Later on in the day right before I went work I went to a used book store and had a really good conversation with her about going back to church. Her book store reminds me of the little shop on the corner from youve got mail. It looks a lot like it! I will take pictures of it. I bought a book today from there!

I got anne of green gables~!! This serioualy changed my life! I want to be anne so bad! My middle name is anne with a E just like her. I am very happy that my mom called me anne!  my mother is from Nova scotia Canada .

Okay there are certain books that helped mold me into who I am.

Anne of green gables is one of them. The power of imagine from Norman vincent peale. Book of Mormon.

Okay there is many. hehehe. I can't think of them all right now. When I get home I usually read a couple of scriptures and The ripple from Betty Eadie! ..

I have a hard time forming my thoughts and expressing myself through words. I have been very self conscious with that. I want to get better. However I am not getting down myself either that I feel I can't express my thoughts the way I want. I am a good musician though.